CONVO BETWEEN MY SIS AND MY FRIEND CHRIS FUNG
Lemon blasT: hey wuts a good song to download
becool 1987: ummmmm
becool 1987: i dunno
becool 1987: .........
Lemon blasT: come on now chris
becool 1987: unless u wanna dl japanese music
becool 1987: dont ask me
Lemon blasT: yes!
Lemon blasT: japanese music!!
becool 1987: ooook
becool 1987: i doubt ull be able to get it tho
becool 1987: all of the sources are alwayz offline
becool 1987: try this tho
becool 1987: ayumi hamasaki - end of the world
Lemon blasT: okie
Lemon blasT: couldn't find it
becool 1987: u suck
becool 1987: kazaa rite?
Lemon blasT: ya
becool 1987: hey
Lemon blasT: wut
becool 1987: y does it say mobile next to ur name?
becool 1987: o never
becool 1987: mind
becool 1987: not nemore
Lemon blasT: ok
becool 1987: it used to
Lemon blasT: its becuz my cell phone has aim on it
becool 1987: ahhhhh
Lemon blasT: yes
Lemon blasT: this is much better
Lemon blasT: wait!
Lemon blasT: i found it
becool 1987: good fer u
Lemon blasT: thanx
Lemon blasT: is it all in japenese
becool 1987: yea
becool 1987: this one is all in japanese
Lemon blasT: ah ok
becool 1987: there r other ones that have some english
becool 1987: but this one is cool newayz
Lemon blasT: ok
Lemon blasT: i like stuff i cant understand
becool 1987: hahah
Lemon blasT: now it wont dl
becool 1987: is it more sources needed
Lemon blasT: ya
becool 1987: that alwayz happens
becool 1987: cause all of these sources are in japan prob
becool 1987: so they're all sleeping
becool 1987: and have their comps off
Lemon blasT: oooo that sux
Lemon blasT: for me
becool 1987: yea
becool 1987: for me too
Lemon blasT: *tears tears*
becool 1987: haha
becool 1987: *points and laughs*
Lemon blasT: *wallows in the shame of being laughed at*
becool 1987: *calls large crowd to encircle*
becool 1987: *more pointing and lauging*
Lemon blasT: *raises an army of tiny nomes to lay seige on chris's house*
Lemon blasT: *laughs manically at the possible results*
becool 1987: *raises army of small, cute animals to wage war against gnomes*
becool 1987: *squirrels lob acron bombs*
Lemon blasT: *gets blow torch to set fire to fur of tiny animals and gives another torch to each gnome*
becool 1987: *rabbits shoot carront missiles*
becool 1987: *gives anit-flame suits to animals*
becool 1987: *also gives electrodes to each animal*
Lemon blasT: *hires giant to step on animals*
Lemon blasT: *giant with big metal boots*
becool 1987: *animals, with amazing speed and agility, dodge giant's feet*
Lemon blasT: *giant is tripped by small animal but falls and crushes them all*
becool 1987: *although all ground forces are destroyed, air forces still survive and drop poo-bombs*
Lemon blasT: *all gnomes arm themselves with toilet caps and resume waging war with chris*
becool 1987: *raises army of larger, fiercer mythical creatures to wage war against gnomes*
Lemon blasT: *gnomes get tiny laxatives that are disguised as bits of chocolate that trick the stronger forces, they eat them, and run to the bathroom which is where they reside for the next fifteen minutes*
becool 1987: *birds, who hate chocolate, continue dropping poo-bombs which are now laced with actual explosives*
Lemon blasT: *gnomes turn on hypnotizing television program that leaves chris in a deep sleep while they launch massive flying hunting hounds to eat the birds*
Lemon blasT: *birds are successfullly eaten but big dogs die*
becool 1987: *fifteen minutes have now passed, and larger animals exit bathroom*
becool 1987: *stench kills off gnomes*
becool 1987: *stench also snaps me out of sleep*
Lemon blasT: *bouncing live gummy bears burst through the door leaving a deadly slime that looks like sour candy goo that the stronger forces eat and finally die*
becool 1987: *plushie animals now emerge, and in their ultimate cuteness, overpower jess's forces who cannot bring themselves to kill things that sooooooo cute*
Lemon blasT: *an army of oak trees hire mexican fighting hampsters to make nests in chris's hair, and now thousands of tiny newborn hampsters crawling all over chris*
Lemon blasT: *then the trees take the plushie animals outside and become their homes*
becool 1987: *throws hamster pellets into field, drawing hamsters away*
becool 1987: *erects bubble around self*
Lemon blasT: *a new gnome army brings in a peace treaty requesting the submission of chris and his armies so jessica can do her novel work*
becool 1987: *chris is lenient, and signs treaty*
Lemon blasT: *they are, however, prepared to fight if necessary*
becool 1987: *secretly vows revenge, and crosses fingers behind back*
Lemon blasT: *gnomes see, but reluctantly leave knowing that one day soon they shall return*
Lemon blasT: good war chris
becool 1987: thank u
becool 1987: it was much fun
becool 1987: good luck with novel work
Lemon blasT: yes very much
Lemon blasT: thanx
Lemon blasT: cya

there was a unicorn with a big cake that exploded roit it was filled with bovarian cream and tasted nasty. the meditating monk had had enough of levitating so he decided to eat the ugly unicorn who was covered

no mas survey.

YOUR CAR'S ON FIRE!!!!
Ok, about a month ago I was taking tennis lessons for the first time in Portola Valley with my friend Christina. She's giving me a ride home from lessons and driving home we see this guy at the stop sign to our right. His car is on..fire and he's just sitting there in his car like nothing's happening.
"Your car is ON FIRE!!!" (Shout about 10 people).
Smoke starts to curl around his windows and he thinks he should probably check it out. The fire is on the driver's side right behind the wheel. He steps out sloooowwwly, right into the fire! *gets out slowly, steps right into fire* *Suprised and pained look as pants almost catch* *walks away from car* *stands at distance, folds arms and starts smiling* (?!?!??) He makes no move whatsoever to do anything, he just stands there folding his arms and watching his car burn!!! Five people got out their cell phones to call the fire department while he just stood there!

RIAGHT! DUTISHLAND, JERMAHNY...
It all started I guess after we watched Monty Python's Holy Grail...FUNNY MOVIE!! Katie stole my pillow or I stole her pillow, neither can remember which happened. Then I started beating her with Kathleen's couch pillows. She gave up, Ha!, and then I think Cat started hitting me with pillows. Anyway, who know's how it started but that Cat and I were on the same team against Katie and Kathleen. We decided that we were the British and split the livingroom inside into 2 forts. We led the attack with mighty British force, our double pillow reinforcements against them! Then we decided to make signs that could help us tell who was on what team. OF COURSE we were the mighty British, riaght. That's pronounced riaght--ruh-eye-a-tuh or right! Katie chose Shwiez or Swiss. Cat determined that to be pronounced sh***. Kathleen decided on Deutschland or Germany. Germany--Jer-mah-nee, mah! you've got to hack when you say it. Or Deutschland--Doo-tish-land they have many duties or dootyland, not as clean as the jolly rollin' 'ills o' Britian riaght. We were guarding our fort when Shweiz decided to take a charge and rushed us. She tackled me and soon as I know it i'm carrying her on my back and wondering where she went. She got thru though and my tiger pillow was lost to the Germahns. Deutishland was just sitting on their fort most o' the game sitting on top of my pillow! BAH! Anywayz...riaght. We snuck into Kathleen's room and could not find my pillow riaght cuz they had hidden it riaght. We did however find a very furry and quite short child. We asked him for information sir, riaght, but all 'e would do was twitch 'is ears riaght. (kathleen's cat) Very short child, quite furry, but not 'elpful! We determined that if Carrie were there to take a side she'd be Italy.
Earlier on, Kathleen, Katie, and I were very bored. Katie was examining her hairbrush and determined it to be quite full of hair. She pulled it out, rolled a ball out of it and threw it at me. Then we all got the idea to do the same and made one huge ball of hair. We were playing hairball tennis until Cat arrived, we threw it at her and she didn't realize what it was at first but we knew by the face she made later on. We took a picture of her looking disgusted at it, then a picture of the three of us looking pleased by it. During our war over the pillows we snuck into Kathleen's room to search for my pillow, got bored and I put the hairball between her pillows. She discovered it later at 3am and threw it outside. She later reports that her dad found it and asked if she'd cut her hair that night!
Cat, Katie, and I went outside for a bit 'round 3am n' Cat tried to close the screen behind her but instead pulled it off it's track. We decided not to say anything, it would be Kathleen's fault if she opened it! She caught us and her immediate question was,
"Did you guys break the screen again?"
Minstrels: "Brave brave Sir Robin! When danger reared it's ugly head, Sir Robin turned his tail and fled!"
Sir Robin: "Shut UP!"
Other Knights: "Who are you?
Minstrels: "Brave brave Sir Robin, he quickly snuck right by!"
Sir Robin: "Shut UP!!"

Short Bit on Band Camp
OH EH OH EH OH EH?
We're playing the song HOT HOT HOT! for the football games. We were all given the piece today to read b4 we all played it and it had some of the words on it. Toward the bottom it had OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH OH EH Feeling HOT HOT HOT!
"Oh eh oh eh? wha....?"
Then I figured out it was the part when they sing OH AAAY OH AAY..OH AAAY OH AAAY.. Wouldn't it be funny if they sang it OH EH?

Snoozel345: *stretches*

Neokitten7456: *looks at mucous I just coughed up* wow....its gross and kinda cool at the same time.....

Neokitten7456: no one's paying attention to me....*puts on red hat*

wowzer425: so does 2face die?

Neokitten7456: ya

Snoozel345: mop head!!

Neokitten7456: he is too fat for that outfit....

Neokitten7456: and hairy....eeeeeewwwwww

Neokitten7456: *pokes mucous* its like a little slug....

Snoozel345: katie, are you poking something you coughed up?

Snoozel345: lol

Neokitten7456: yaaaaaaaaaa

wowzer425: so the movie is about balancing his two lives: batman and bruce wayne

Neokitten7456: ya

Neokitten7456: it feels wierd, Jenn

wowzer425: ok thats wierd

Snoozel345: throw it at carrie

Snoozel345: lol

Neokitten7456: like a little slug....

Neokitten7456: kinda like half-dried glue maybe....

Neokitten7456: biiiiiiiiiiig smile from Alfred

Snoozel345: name it

wowzer425: like dozier

Neokitten7456: Mike the mucous mound

wowzer425: how come we never see her in batman and robin?

Snoozel345: "batman" looks like a grown up johnathan taylor thomas

Neokitten7456: hehehehehe

Snoozel345: are you gonna feed it and pet it and call it george?

Neokitten7456: cuz she's a whore now....

Neokitten7456: and she didn't want to be batman's girlfriend anymore, cuz he was away too much

wowzer425: george clooney looks more like batman

Neokitten7456: no, I'm gonna feed it and pet it and call it Mike the mucous mound

Neokitten7456: Mike the mucous mound!!!

Neokitten7456: aaaaggggghhhhh

wowzer425: ?? did i miss something?

Snoozel345: yesh

Neokitten7456: I tried to pet Mike the mucous mound and he got stuck to my finger....

Snoozel345: HA!

Snoozel345: lol

Neokitten7456: but I got him off

Snoozel345: good good

Neokitten7456: *pokes Mike the mucous mound*

Neokitten7456: eeee!!

Snoozel345: mike: ow!

Snoozel345: hey!

wowzer425: ???

Neokitten7456: squishy!!

Snoozel345: lol

Snoozel345: we are so gross

wowzer425: who's mike?

Snoozel345: lol

Neokitten7456: lol

Snoozel345: see if mike can swim

Neokitten7456: no!! he'll die!!

Neokitten7456: poor Mike the mucous mound

wowzer425: ???????????

wowzer425: please fill me in

Snoozel345: can he ice skate?

Neokitten7456: *hack* *hack* *spit* look!! Mary the mucous mound!!!!

Snoozel345: lol

Snoozel345: are they good friends?

Neokitten7456: yes!!

Neokitten7456: the closest of friends!!

wowzer425: ???????????????????????????

Snoozel345: ow

wowzer425: ahh my font!

Snoozel345: achy

Neokitten7456: ya...that's it

wowzer425: how do i change my font?!?!?!?

Snoozel345: by spinning three times and singing i'm a little teapot while wearing snow boots

Neokitten7456: you CAN"T BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

wowzer425: ill leave and come back then

wowzer425: wait how do i come back?

wowzer425: wait how do i come back?

Neokitten7456: you CAN"T BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

wowzer425: ahhhhhhh!

Neokitten7456: we'll invite you

Snoozel345: are we really gonna invite him?

Snoozel345: he doesn't like mike or mary!

Neokitten7456: U dunno....

Neokitten7456: he didn't say when to invite him back....

Neokitten7456: *I

Snoozel345: yes...

Snoozel345: lol

Snoozel345: he jest IMed me

Neokitten7456:

Neokitten7456: Mike the mucous mound doesn't like Marco either!!1

Neokitten7456: *pokes Mike the mucous mound*

Snoozel345: i'm gonna go ter bed

wowzer425: ok im friends with the mucus

Snoozel345: g'night

Neokitten7456: ok...byez

Neokitten7456: g'night

Neokitten7456: Mike the mucous mound sayz g'night

Neokitten7456: Mary the mucous mound says g'night

A religion class from our school's skit about Jesus' feeding of the 5,000

Neokitten7456: Marc: *eating piece of paper labeled 'bread'* wow, I'm so hungry I could eat 5,000 people....
Neokitten7456: uh,
Neokitten7456: breads
Neokitten7456: hehehehehe
Snoozel345: lol lol
Snoozel345: did he actually swallow th' paper?
Neokitten7456: no...he didn't really eat it either
Neokitten7456: Brian: *wearing hat that says 'Jesus'* I am Jesus! *tears piece of paper labeled 'bread in half*
Neokitten7456: Austen: *while totally cracking up* wow...there are twelve...things of bread left from the...uh...feast...
Neokitten7456: Brian: I am Jesus


Ok, have you ever eaten Golden Grahams?
Is it me or do they taste like you just licked an envelope?

Neokitten7456: ok...this is disgusting...I just ran my hand over the carpet in a few spots in my room...and accumulated a hair ball that's 2.5 inches in diameter...
Neokitten7456: it looks like some kind of woodland creature's nest...
Neokitten7456: I'm a little afraid of it...I think it's plotting against me...trying to take over my carpets in a diabolically evil sceme to take over the room...
Snoozel345: ack, hello
Snoozel345: sorry
Neokitten7456: scroll up
Snoozel345: read it, eww katie
Snoozel345: lol
Snoozel345: it can join mike and mary the mucous mounds eh?
Neokitten7456: seriously, this thing is creepy
Snoozel345: literally 2 inches in diameter?
Neokitten7456: it's got like, hair feelers and shit
Neokitten7456: ya
Snoozel345: lolol
Neokitten7456: I clumped it up as best I could and measured it
Snoozel345: right, do you have physics tomorrow?
Neokitten7456: I'm in chem
Snoozel345: oh yeah
Snoozel345: bring it to chemchem
Snoozel345: lol
Neokitten7456: maybe Mr. Yam would be interested in it
Snoozel345: find two more
Neokitten7456: I can just see the stick-up-their-butt sophomores..."oh my god, that is like, soooo gorss...what a loser"
Snoozel345: make an atom model out of it
Snoozel345: find two more
Snoozel345: :o)
Snoozel345: THEN show them
Neokitten7456: *stuffs Henry the Hair Ball down their shirt* "he wants to be your friend and you shun him! YOU EVIL POOPHEADS!!!"
Neokitten7456: *runs away crying*
Snoozel345: lol, catches crying katie and comforts her, tells her that she likes henry despite what others say*
Neokitten7456: *found in the bathroom 20 minutes later consoling the hair ball* it's ok Henry, I'm your friend!
Neokitten7456: hey...now that I look at it...it's kinda cute
Snoozel345: put googly eyes on it
Snoozel345: 0_0
Neokitten7456: can see ears and little eyes and a little smile and....ok, I need sleep
Neokitten7456: the hair ball is talking to me...
Snoozel345: lol, and what is it saying?
Neokitten7456: and it sounds like Mickey Mouse...
Snoozel345: does it have a tail?
Neokitten7456: yes
Neokitten7456: a thin one, a single strand of hair
Snoozel345: hiya henry!
Neokitten7456: hiya Jenn
Snoozel345: oy
Snoozel345: hehehehe
Neokitten7456: I've taken over the keyboard
Snoozel345: you should take it to school tomorrow, and only you and i will be pleased by it
Neokitten7456: I am Henry the Hair Ball...do my evil bidding and I will reward you with tasty cookies
Snoozel345: mmmm, cookies
Neokitten7456: do you really want to see this thing?
Snoozel345: i dunno
Snoozel345: we need excitment at brunch
Snoozel345: excitement*
Neokitten7456: it's got like, carpet fibers and fuzzy things in it
Snoozel345: naw, i dunno
Snoozel345: hehehhehe
Snoozel345: preserve it in a glass case
Neokitten7456: it's quite amusing now, but in the morning it'll be seriously gross
Snoozel345: look at it admiringly when your dad comes in the room
Snoozel345: :-D
Neokitten7456: lol
Snoozel345: pet it while looking at him
Neokitten7456: it's bigger than that hair ball we made at Kathleen's
Snoozel345: "it's ok henry, good henry"
Neokitten7456: lol
Snoozel345: it sure sounds like it!
Snoozel345: if it's as big as u described, that's one nasty hairball
Neokitten7456: and there's more hair on my carpet
Snoozel345: eeesh
Neokitten7456: it really is
Snoozel345: katie you shed too much
Neokitten7456: yes, and I don't vaccuum enough